Things That Are New

One of my biggest frustrations is running into someone I haven't seen for years, and instantly being asked, "So, what's new?"

"Well, since I saw you last, I got cancer, almost died, almost died again, almost died one last time, and now I'm really into Boston Legal.  So, how's school going?"

But, today when I checked my email I got the clear message that I was due for checking in with the internets and giving a what's-new kind of update.   It said, "YOUR TYPEPAD ACCOUNT HAS BEEN SUSPENDED."   I changed my bank account and it had been so long since I bothered with Typepad that I forgot I would need to update my account with the new information.   So what this email should have said "YOU HAVE ABANDONED YOUR INTERNET FRIENDS YOU FILTHY FILTHY WHORE."

And so I post to you now.   And in the spirit of full disclosure, I feel I need to tell you I have no good reason for my absence.   I wasn't busy, I have nothing big happening in my life, hell, I can't even say I was planning my wedding because we have opted for more of a scheduled elopement.  The truth is I just didn't want to think about cancer.   I wanted to go off and be Ms. Normal and forget that all this shit ever happened.

By the way, you can't do that.   The more I tried to distance myself from those thoughts the more they became all I could think about.   Perhaps this is why they say to keep your enemies close. Without an outlet I spiraled further and further down into the Abyss of Bitterness.   Even now as I type this I feel a load lifted off of my shoulders and transferred onto an insignificant page of the internet that hardly anyone will ever read.

So to make a long story somewhat less long, here is What's New.

1. The main thing going on right now is I am having some trouble with fainting.   As in, I faint a lot.   This has been a problem that has plagued me off and on for some time, but it is getting worse quickly.   My doctor ran 800 tests and found a heart defect, got all worked up and told me I needed a pacemaker, and sent me off for 800 more tests under the supervision of the Most Unpleasant Cardiologist in the World.   But after all of that, it turned out the defect was not causing my fainting, was pretty minor, and the whole thing turned out to be an useless albeit interesting detour.   I am currently under the care of a neurologist who is tirelessly searching for any other incidental findings that aren't causing the fainting either.  I have much more to say on the subject of fainting but I think I will leave it for another entry on another day.

2. So did you guys know that having a job absolutely blows?   In case you didn't, let me be the one to tell you.   Having a job blows.   After about 9 months at my job I realized I jumped back into the working world way too soon and had to cut back my hours.   I am constantly frustrated by my boss, my coworkers, my hours, but goddamn if this place doesn't have the best insurance plan I have ever seen, so I'm sticking it out for a while.   Boyfriend is having troubles of his own and is considering making a transfer... a pretty big one.   So be on the lookout for news of a Noelle-esque move.

3. I have recently discovered the zen of gardening and plan to torture you with minute-by-minute updates (with photos!) of my garden.

4. I'm trying to answer all the emails I am behind on, seriously.   Give me another week, I swear.  I also have a smashing Ode to My Shoes in the works which I'm very excited about.

So there you have it internets.   Maybe you didn't miss me but I sure missed you.   Anyone have any What's New of their own to share?   Because, um, I haven't been reading your blogs either.

Comments

[elise]

welcome back rae, you've been missed. having a job blows, that's for damn sure. having to deal with the fainting and generall asshat-ness of non-cancer survivors such as myself blows even more. i want to know what the jrt's are up to. more naughty terrier stories. i just spent too much time crying at cancerbaby.........i need a hank picture to remind me of what's to love in this world.........take care of yourself, and know that many people read, and wonder and care.

[Jennysue]

YAY! You're back, been thinking of ya. I think it's important that we try to move away from the cancer stuff at times and try to wear our "normal" hat for a while. But I agree, it doesn't work for too long - I'm sure i'll keep trying though. Yes work BLOWS! I am having such a hard time dealing w/ it. I have been sleeping later and later and rushing in, and trying to sneak out early - a big sign that I am not happy about it. I hate dealing w/ others shit - why the hell did I become a Social Worker???? I am sorry about the fainting and the heart detour, thats unnerving. Does it happen anywhere at anytime? I once fainted on a public bus going to school, and an old man carried me off at the last stop and put me on a bench by a pay phone and told me to call someone - it was traumatic. I can only imagine what it must be like to live w/ that. Keep us posted when they identify the cause. Eloping huh??? After a wonderful wedding expereince, I can see why people do it because it is alll consuming. Moving, where????? To New York City??? that would be soooo cool - lots of jobs here~ LOL - that would make me so happy. I have been thinking we should meet up somewhere - I would love to meet U and Louise! We'll talk. Feel good and keep writing when you feel like it.

[Katerina]

WE HAVE MISSED YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Do post on the garden, with plenty of superflouos photography. And be sure to wear sunscreen in case you pass out while planting roses or whatever - no need to give yourself a sunburn on top of everything else.

[Jeannette]

I have missed you, Rae! It's true that work does blow at times. You just have to find the job that blows only half of the time. I think this might be the definition of success. But hearing from you, knowing you are hanging in there, made my day.

[Tiffany]

Welcome back, Rae!

Is it odd that when I read your 'having a job blows' comment, I momentarily lapsed into dyslexia and transposed the two latter words??? Then you can imagine where I went with the whole fainting thing...

Err, anyway...

Glad to have you back!

[Susy]

Yeah, I second what Tiffany said. I'll bet you're going to have some, er, interesting traffic through here over the next few days, especially with the word "bodacious" as part of your title!

[ErinM]

You were greatly missed!

Yes, I pulled the whole "job blows" mix-up too. Hehe.. I thought your blog had taken a whole different turn! :)

Seems just about everyone is hating their jobs right now. I think it's the weather. It warms up, is nice and sunny outside, people want to be out & about. Not stuck in the "blah"-ness of a grey cubicle.

Hope things look up in the near future!

[aj]

Nice to see you back Rae, glad you are doing ok, hope the fainting is taken care of soon, wouldn't be fun having that. Just take each day as it comes, enjoy it to the fullest. Look forward to your gardening pictures - nothing like being outdoors with the earth, belleive it rejuvenates us. AJ

[uberimma]

Glad you're back. What's with the new design? I was very into the pink and orange.

[Lauren]

Of course I'm glad you're back and you were sorely missed. Also, we understand why you were away. Or at least I do. Mostly, though, I'm just excited about the post about your shoes. LOL

[Noelle]

A Noelle-esque move? Holy crap! That means it's BIG and slightly crazy. Are you moving to Seattle? You should. We could hang out. (I'm so selfish, no?)

Sorry about the job-blowing, I know how you feel.

[Louise]

More news! More news! More news!

[sunnyside2day]

Glad to see your post. I too have been absent for quite some time from my blogging...both writing and reading.

Yep, the job thing does blow, but good insurance is hard to come by...so certainly glad you have something to make it worth while!

Sure hope they figure out the fainting soon and that is something minor causing it that can be easily fixed.

Hope your Memorial Day weekend is a good one and you enjoy the time doing whatever you want to do.

[Katerina]

Rae!!! We STILL miss you!!! Come on, throw us a bone!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

We want to know what's up with our favorita. Are you moving, how's the wedding, how are you feeling, what are you thinking, you potty mouth? The internets need to know.

[Deborah]

Dear Bloggers:

You have probably received this message a month ago, but we still need your help. Can you help us with our cancer blog survey? We are posting the original message again. Can you encourage visitors to complete the survey and make the survey link visible on your homepage? You are also welcome to participate in our study. For those of you who have already participated, we deeply appreciate your help. Thanks in advance!

-------------------------
This is a message to those of you who maintain/read/participate in blogs related to cancer. Might we request your assistance in an academic study about cancer blog usage?

My name is Deborah Chung, and I am an assistant professor at the University of Kentucky School of Journalism and Telecommunications. My research focuses on the use of new communication technologies and their potential to empower information consumers. Currently, I am interested in examining how health information seekers, particularly cancer patients and their families/friends, adopt blogs.

I am teaming up with Dr. Sujin Kim, also at UK, who is an assistant professor in the School of Library and Information Science and has a sub-specialization in medical informatics. She has been working closely with the UK Cancer Center to build a biorepository information system (UK-BIS) for lung and ovarian cancer samples. Together, we would like to learn about how new information channels, such as blogs, are being used by cancer patients and their families/friends — specifically we are interested in their motivations, uses and consequences of using blogs.

As approved by our internal review board (IRB) at UK, this study is an anonymous survey that does not carry any risks to cancer patients. At the same time, we believe the information gathered from this study will greatly contribute to our understanding of the adoption of new communication technologies by cancer patients. This information will in turn assist in supporting the needs of cancer patients for future information technology and service development.

Thus, we would appreciate your participation in our survey. You can find the survey at: https://wintis.mowsey.org/survey/. You might get a notice regarding the validity of the certificate. If that happens, please continue to proceed. If for some reason you cannot access the site, please contact us.

We appreciate your time, and thank you in advance for your help.

Sincerely,

Deborah S. Chung, Ph.D.
Assistant Professor
School of Journalism & Telecommunications
University of Kentucky
dchung@uky.edu

Sujin Kim, Ph.D.
Assistant Professor
School of Library & Information Science
University of Kentucky
sujinkim@uky.edu

[Jen]

Ok you haven't posted in exactly a month, so hear I am to kick your butt a little!!!! Get on it girl, whats going on????
Miss you - Jen