Things That Are New

One of my biggest frustrations is running into someone I haven't seen for years, and instantly being asked, "So, what's new?"

"Well, since I saw you last, I got cancer, almost died, almost died again, almost died one last time, and now I'm really into Boston Legal.  So, how's school going?"

But, today when I checked my email I got the clear message that I was due for checking in with the internets and giving a what's-new kind of update.   It said, "YOUR TYPEPAD ACCOUNT HAS BEEN SUSPENDED."   I changed my bank account and it had been so long since I bothered with Typepad that I forgot I would need to update my account with the new information.   So what this email should have said "YOU HAVE ABANDONED YOUR INTERNET FRIENDS YOU FILTHY FILTHY WHORE."

And so I post to you now.   And in the spirit of full disclosure, I feel I need to tell you I have no good reason for my absence.   I wasn't busy, I have nothing big happening in my life, hell, I can't even say I was planning my wedding because we have opted for more of a scheduled elopement.  The truth is I just didn't want to think about cancer.   I wanted to go off and be Ms. Normal and forget that all this shit ever happened.

By the way, you can't do that.   The more I tried to distance myself from those thoughts the more they became all I could think about.   Perhaps this is why they say to keep your enemies close. Without an outlet I spiraled further and further down into the Abyss of Bitterness.   Even now as I type this I feel a load lifted off of my shoulders and transferred onto an insignificant page of the internet that hardly anyone will ever read.

So to make a long story somewhat less long, here is What's New.

1. The main thing going on right now is I am having some trouble with fainting.   As in, I faint a lot.   This has been a problem that has plagued me off and on for some time, but it is getting worse quickly.   My doctor ran 800 tests and found a heart defect, got all worked up and told me I needed a pacemaker, and sent me off for 800 more tests under the supervision of the Most Unpleasant Cardiologist in the World.   But after all of that, it turned out the defect was not causing my fainting, was pretty minor, and the whole thing turned out to be an useless albeit interesting detour.   I am currently under the care of a neurologist who is tirelessly searching for any other incidental findings that aren't causing the fainting either.  I have much more to say on the subject of fainting but I think I will leave it for another entry on another day.

2. So did you guys know that having a job absolutely blows?   In case you didn't, let me be the one to tell you.   Having a job blows.   After about 9 months at my job I realized I jumped back into the working world way too soon and had to cut back my hours.   I am constantly frustrated by my boss, my coworkers, my hours, but goddamn if this place doesn't have the best insurance plan I have ever seen, so I'm sticking it out for a while.   Boyfriend is having troubles of his own and is considering making a transfer... a pretty big one.   So be on the lookout for news of a Noelle-esque move.

3. I have recently discovered the zen of gardening and plan to torture you with minute-by-minute updates (with photos!) of my garden.

4. I'm trying to answer all the emails I am behind on, seriously.   Give me another week, I swear.  I also have a smashing Ode to My Shoes in the works which I'm very excited about.

So there you have it internets.   Maybe you didn't miss me but I sure missed you.   Anyone have any What's New of their own to share?   Because, um, I haven't been reading your blogs either.