A Letter to Tarceva

Dear Tarceva,

Blow me.

Love, Rae

Dear Tarceva,

We have had a short and tumultuous relationship.  It's safe to say we're definitely out of that blissful "new" phase where you have excellent preliminary results and I am euphoric at the sight of your little blue roundness every morning.  However, all those little things that were cute in the beginning, like giving me rashes and radiation recall, have begun to grate on my nerves slowly but steadily. 

I know that you are busy trying to target specific proteins in my blood and all, but I just get the sense that you have put my needs on the back burner.  As you go sprinkling hideous blisters on my face, my numbers are creeping back up into the red zone.  In the beginning, we were right there on the same page, united in love against the cancer inside of me.  I thought you really wanted to keep me in remission, to make this work between us.  I though you were in it for the long haul.

But now just a few short months later, you have not only abandoned my needs, but committed the ultimate act of betrayal, bringing that tramp Shingles back into my life.  I know you're thinking, how could I have not read the writing on the wall?  I had shingles before and I didn't recognize the signs.  But you told me you would give me a rash, and I trusted that's all it was.  You must think I'm such a fool, but like I told one nurse, "You people told me the medicine would give me a rash so when I got a rash I thought it was from the medicine you said would give me a rash so give me a break already."

And so, I must end this.  I know you're upset, but don't feel bad.  There are dozens of chemos that have laid prostrate at my feet, defeated.  No one judges you for not holding out longer.  I can't say I'll miss you, my dear Tarceva, but I'll always remember you.

Fondly,

Rae

Comments

[cancerbaby]

Fucking hell. As always, I'm thinking of you.

[sunnyside2day]

Geez, it is time for you to get a break here!

Hugzzzzzzz....but softly,

I know from my 19 year old daughter just how bad shingles hurt. She got her first case when she was 15.

[gl]

Rae, I can't believe this is happening!! I'm so sorry that you have to keep going through so much pain. My thoughts are with you and am praying for you during moments that I can muster some faith in a God that would let this happen.

[Noelle]

Aw crap. First of all, shingles suck! I had them when I was 13 and I wouldn't wish them on my worst enemy. I hope you don't have to suffer with them long.

Second, so what does that mean? Do you have to go on a Tarceva replacement drug?

I'm so sorry.

[Miranda]

I know there is a physician in Chicago that is becoming very well known at Northwestern Hopsital that specializes in the treatment of these rashes. He leads the research and the special clinic there called the SERIES clinic that treats these reactions....

Call or e mail him asap
His contact information is below:

Mario E Lacouture, MD
Department of Dermatology
Robert H Lurie Comprehensive Cancer Center
Northwestern University
645 North Michigan Suite 520
Chicago, Illinois 60611

Phone : 312-695-8106
m-lacouture@northwestern.edu