Sorry Internet, I Just Can't Get It Up

The Funk That Would Not Die rages on.  I feel bad, because I usually post a lot, and I like updating frequently.  But damn if I just can't get it together to post anything of interest.

First, I was going to talk about Tarceva, the maintenance chemo that sounds like a mid-90's Toyota model (hopefully it is not a lemon), but frankly, the whole business is very boring.  Then I had a smashing piece on the stray dog we found, and how having three dogs is like watching a real-time soap opera in your living room.  I probably will still do that, since it allows for gratuitous cute-dog photo opportunities, but I am not feeling shecky enough quite yet.  Then I had a post about how my appetite is coming back, how much I love marbled Colby-Jack cheese (just how WAS I living without the cheese that guarantees not one but TWO delicious varieties in every bite?) and my almost pregnancy-like cravings after a year and a half of dry cereal and crackers (Dr. Atkins' last act before his death was to name me the Antichrist), but let's face it, not even I can make cheese interesting. 

So because of my utter lack of motivation, and because my laptop and Typepad have combined to form the Fuckup Alliance, all I can come up with is this interesting link.  Well, interesting if you are interested in autoimmune diseases, which I am.  I know that at least Noelle will read it, and that is good enough for me, right now. 

And with that, I slink back to my couch to wallow and complain.  I shall return when (mental) conditions improve.

Comments

[Noelle]

Good article. Made me laugh because I can tick off a number of diseases on that list that I have/had/will have. I feel so, um, proud? Screwed? Whatever.

Anyway, besides the obvious Crohn's, I had psoriasis as a kid (though I don't now, it seemed to clear up forever when I was on Predisone). I have already been diagnosed as having a messed up thyroid (this reminds me, I really need to get my levels checked) and even if I'm fine now, I am apparently flagged to have Hashimoto's at some point in my life. My grandma has it, too, so thanks Gram! She also has arthritis and is borderline diabetic. Ahhhh, I have so much to look forward to!

So anyway, hope you're feeling better soon, and personally I think you deserve to wallow and complain (if you want to). With everything you've been through you've earned the right to do whatever you want. Also hope you're enjoying the new house (talk about lots going on for you!)

[Rae]

I also have a cluster of autoimmune diseases. Very weird. My Dr. said maybe I have/will have lupus because it affects more than one system? The whole thing is confusing.

[cancerbaby]

Yo, Rae. I'm wondering why you are referring to Tarceva as a "chemo." It's a targeted therapy, so not a chemo at all, as I understand it. Just curious.

[Lydia]

I took Tarceva for a while as part of a clinical trial. It gave me horrible acne, but other than that was blissfully free of side effects.

[Rae]

Cancerbaby, correct, it is a targeted therapy. I say "chemo" for the ease of non-cancer-experts as a catch-all for "cancer killing medications." But you are right, it is the wrong word. Thanks.

[Krissy]

I am a walking autoimmune ten-car pileup. I'm waiting for the day when someone says "lupus". I'm very grateful that that day has not yet arrived.

You know, Rae, I've been thinking about your last email and about your funk and why it makes total and complete sense. I think it's like the way that abused children, taken out of the place where they have to fight for their lives and put somewhere safe, will often act out and feel much worse before they get better.

http://cubbiegirl.typepad.com/cubbiegirl/

Cubbiegirl recently adopted a 9 year old little girl and her personal ticks are getting worse the safer she feels in her new family.

It totally makes sense. When you're fighting for your life every minute of ever day there is no time to rest and deal with the emotional load you're being asked to bear. Now that death has taken a step back for a minute, it makes sense that the crushing emotional reality would set in.

And you shouldn't feel bad or guilty about it any more than CG's little girl should feel bad or guilty about having more trouble now that she feels a little safer. Life is like that. You're completely entitled to a funk, and your funk may actually be a sign of healing and moving on, even if it feels like moving backward. Does that make sense?

I'm just rambling. Hang in there.

[Spike]

The Fuck-up Alliance?

That's brilliant.

Is it part of the Axis of Evil?