Repent Ye with Bigoted Bumper Stickers, Or Ye Shall Perish in an Intentional Motor Vehicle Accident

Thank you for your kind comments on yesterday's post.  I slept off most of the morbid thoughts, and am now progressing into the rage phase of my existential crisis, which will swiftly cycle into the manic-upswing phase.  So bear with me.

Today a car passed me going at least 90 mph, with a multitude of bible-banger bumper stickers (say that three times fast).  As the driver and his infant daughter in a car seat in the front of the car flew by me, I was shocked by the sticker that encompassed the entirety of his front and back driver's side car doors.

JESUS HATES SIN!

Ummm, is that so?  I never really picked up on any relation between Jesus and morality.  Thank god you were there, Mr. Unsafe Bigot Driver!  I am saved!

Do these people actually expect to elicit a drive-by spiritual awakening from other drivers on the highway?  Do they really think they are helping people by broadcasting their religious views in this fashion?

Of course not.  They don't give a shit about your eternal soul.  They just want to show the world that they are better, and to inform everyone that all you non-white-upper-middle-class-Protestant-militant, abortion mongering, towelhead faggot, reasonable sons of bitches are going to HELL. 

Well you know what asshole?  I don't believe in hell, so take your antiquated, holier-than-thou, baby-endangering, intolerant, war-loving, fire and brimstone BULLSHIT bumper stickers and shove them up your ass.  After you remove the stick, of course.

And by the way, your daughter is so going to be a lesbian Democrat when she grows up.  If you don't kill her, that is.

Comments

[cancerbaby]

You know, I am quite liking the rage phase.

[Louise]

Do these people actually expect to elicit a drive-by spiritual awakening from other drivers on the highway? Do they really think they are helping people by broadcasting their religious views in this fashion?

Well, Rae, maybe you just haven't opened your heart to the Lord. I know that every time I see a bumper sticker, I exhibit a strong response to the message. That's why I am a vegan, Alberta beef-eating, Jesus-praising, potsmoking, NASCAR-attending, retiree, mother-of-an-Honours student who honks because I owe my freedom to a Vet.

D'ja get that?

You're funny.