Mama Mia!

Despite my best efforts, my boyfriend has found this site.  He said that I sounded very negative (Ummm, hi, have we met?) and that I was too hard on the people I write about.  I told him I am only harsh and belittling on the internet, stupid, now get your goddamn laundry off the couch.

Love you honey.

His comment did remind me that while I have had a difficult year and a half, there have been some redeeming moments and wonderfully kind people.  One of the most surprising people in the latter category is my mother.

My pre-cancer relationship with my mother was, ummm, rocky.  From ages 0 to 18, she was your typical condescending, never-present, guilt-tripping mother.  From ages 18 to 20, I was your typical self-righteous, unforgiving, done-me-wrong daughter.  At age 20 we mutually decided to scrap the whole relationship up to that point and call it a do-over.  Because it was at this age that I realized I actually needed her. 

During chemo, radiation, and the general unpleasant-ness that a cancer diagnosis brings, it is hard to keep up on the daily routine tasks that you never thought about before.  On my bad days, I couldn't even think about switching insurance companies, needing new bras, decorating the house, or buying groceries... and thanks to my mom, I never had to.  And what is even more amazing than her doing all these things, is that she has never asked to be thanked, congratulated, or praised in return.  She has willingly embraced a role as my little helper, and never makes me feel guilty, smothered, or robbed of my independence.

There are a few specific things she has done that move me almost to tears as I recall them.  Sending $50 checks in the mail (so I can't put up a fight) and never mentioning them.  Discreetly handing me a bag when she comes over, and later when I look, it contains cute picture frames that perfectly match the newly-redecorated bedroom.  Taking care of my terror of a 6-month-old puppy for 10 days when I had to go out of town, and calling me nightly to tell me what cute thing he did that day.  Asking me out for a girls' shopping trip where we shop separately, but she buys the whole kit and kaboodle at the checkout.  Sending me cards in the mail weekly with interesting or pertinent newspaper articles enclosed.

I never knew that my mom, the bane of my existence for so long, was capable of these unselfish acts of caring.  I finally have the opportunity to get to know this beautiful person in my life.  And suddenly those silly arguments that kept us apart for so long seem just... well, silly.

Of course, my mom is only one of many people whose kindness to me during this hard time has been immeasurable.  And there are many more moms, dads, husbands, siblings, and friends taking care of their loved ones everywhere without the slightest griping.  To those people, YAY FOR YOU!  Go get an ice cream sundae and pat yourself on the back.